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What dish does only a baseball player use?

The home plate.

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Animals

Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper?

He had his own frog horn.

Animals

What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?

"Odor in the court!"

Food & Drinks

What's a horse's favorite fruit?

Straw-berries.

Animals

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

So-fish-ticated.

Sports

What do an English major and a football player have in common?

They get anxious over rough drafts.

Professional

Why couldn't the couple get married at the library?

It was all booked up.

Sports

Why did someone ask the baseball player to punch them?

He was the designated hitter.

Entertainment

What do you call a nearsighted cowboy?

Squint Eastwood.

Food & Drinks

Why did the ice cream truck break down?

Because of the rocky road.

Sports

Why did the basketball player have so many good arguments?

He was the point guard.

Puns

Why does the photon not need a suitcase?

Because it's traveling light.

Animals

What do you call a 100-year-old ant?

An antique.

People

What did Snow White say while waiting in line for her photos?

Some day my prints will come.

People

What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays?

Retired.

Animals

What do you call the hen that regularly counts her eggs?

A mathmachicken.

Animals

What do you call a pig's sore eye?

A pig-stye.