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What did they call Dracula when he won the league?

The champire.

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Holiday

What did the ghost eat at his birthday party?

I scream.

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Puns

Who has eight guns and terrorizes the ocean?

Billy the Squid.

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Sports

When fish play football, who is the captain?

The team's kipper.

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Holiday

What did the skeleton order at the bar?

A beer and a mop.

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Food & Drinks

What do fairies always drink?

Sprite.

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Puns

What's a henway?

About ten pounds.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?

Because they put on the salsa.

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Entertainment

What do you call a robot that takes the long way?

R2 detour.

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Sports

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

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Animals

What games do ants play with elephants?

Squash.

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Professional

Why did the nurse always choose the red crayon?

Because she always has to draw blood.

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Puns

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps.

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a close-up of a bowl of alphabet soup, a napkin, and a spoonPuns

What happens when you eat too much alphabet soup?

You have a vowel movement.

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Puns

I used to be addicted to not showering.

Luckily, I've been clean for five years.

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Animals

What kind of egg did the evil chicken lay?

A deviled egg.

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Outdoors

I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.

Good, good thymes.

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