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What did they call Dracula when he won the league?

The champire.

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Holiday

What did the ghost eat at his birthday party?

I scream.

Puns

Who has eight guns and terrorizes the ocean?

Billy the Squid.

Sports

When fish play football, who is the captain?

The team's kipper.

Holiday

What did the skeleton order at the bar?

A beer and a mop.

Food & Drinks

What do fairies always drink?

Sprite.

Puns

What's a henway?

About ten pounds.

Food & Drinks

Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?

Because they put on the salsa.

Entertainment

What do you call a robot that takes the long way?

R2 detour.

Sports

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Animals

What games do ants play with elephants?

Squash.

Professional

Why did the nurse always choose the red crayon?

Because she always has to draw blood.

Puns

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps.

a close-up of a bowl of alphabet soup, a napkin, and a spoonPuns

What happens when you eat too much alphabet soup?

You have a vowel movement.

Puns

I used to be addicted to not showering.

Luckily, I've been clean for five years.

Animals

What kind of egg did the evil chicken lay?

A deviled egg.

Outdoors

I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.

Good, good thymes.