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What did the worm say to the other when he was home late?

Where in earth have you been?

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Puns

Why did the farmer call his pig 'Ink'?

Because he kept running out of the pen.

a man is smiling while taking a picture Professional

Why did the photographer attract so many mice?

She was always saying cheese.

Music

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tunafish.

Animals

Why do rodents make the best runners?

Because life's a rat race.

Animals

What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?

She was tickled to death.

Puns

Why did the map not want to be weighed?

It wasn't to scale.

Animals

Why can't dogs operate MRI machines?

I don't know, but catscan.

Animals

Why did the elephant eat the candle?

For light refreshment.

Professional

My boss instructed me to set up the company's 401k.

I told her I don't think anyone on the team can run that far.

Puns

How are you liking that anti-gravity book?

It's impossible to put down!

Science

Why did the astronaut's restaurant on the moon fail?

The food was good, but there was no atmosphere.

Sports

What do a striker and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks.

Animals

Where do baby cats learn to swim?

The kitty pool.

Puns

What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

Holiday

What do you call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

Puns

What do you give a pony with a cold?

Cough stirrup.