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What did the tree say when his kid wanted an expensive toy?

Money doesn't grow on me, you know.

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The rabbit?Animals

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs bunny.

Coached Bank?Sports

Why did the coach go to the bank?

To get his quarter back!!!

Holiday

What is a condiment's favorite holiday?

Cinco de Mayo.

Outdoors

What boat is great at getting a deal?

A saleboat.

Professional

Why was the air compressor dripping with sweat?

It had been running all day and night.

Education

Why was school so much easier for cavemen?

There was no history class.

Animals

What animal loves to sway side-to-side?

A lean-mur.

Puns

What do you call someone who sees a robbery at an Apple Store?

The iWitness.

web designer?Puns

Take him out please!

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy! He is a web designer...

Animals

Why did the man name his canines Rolex and Timex?

They were his watch dogs.

Sports

When is a baseball player like a thief?

When he steals a base.

Sports

What do two oxygen molecule friends call each other?

Air buds.

Entertainment

Why did the piano get locked out of the opera?

It forgot to change keys.

Entertainment

Which kitchen ingredient can also sing?

Grease.

Family

What type of school do kids beg to go to during the summertime?

Sundae School.

Animals

Why do spiders always know the answer to everything?

They're very good at finding things on the web.