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What did the train engineer's friend tell her when she did something crazy?

You're loco-motive!

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Family

Why are goats so funny?

They're always kidding around.

Animals

Why did the tadpole feel lonely?

Because he was newt to the area.

a woman wearing blue scrubs and a blue medical face mask has a surprised facial expressionProfessional

What happened when the dentist got in a car accident?

He had to go back to dent-al school.

Entertainment

Why does Snoop Dogg always have an umbrella with him?

Fo' drizzle.

pecan nuts?Food & Drinks

What did the pecan say to the walnut?

We're friends because we are both nuts!

Holiday

What did the baker say about the bread it made on Easter?

It has risen indeed!

Animals

How do you care for a sick bird?

Tweetment.

Music

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tunafish.

Food & Drinks

What do you call a sad strawberry shake?

A blueberry shake.

a view looking up through green trees in a forest with the sun shining throughOutdoors

Why are trees so good at interior design?

They know how to Spruce a place up.

five light-colored ferrets are lined up on a white backgroundFamily

Why do baby ferrets never get in trouble?

Because they can weasel their way out of anything.

Education

Why shouldn't you trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Animals

Why was the moose able to move the bus on his own?

He had huge mooscles.

a group of people wearing sunglasses are celebrating at a party with confetti Puns

Why does Satan just show up at so many parties?

Because people always speak of the devil.

Animals

What's a lizard's favorite cookie?

A fig newt-on.

Surprised makeup?Family

Surprise!!!!

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.