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What did the skeleton order at the bar?
A beer and a mop.
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People
What do you call a handsome runner?
Dashing.
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Holiday
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
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Holiday
What does Santa call his wife at tax time?
A dependent Claus.
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Holiday
What do birds serve on Halloween?
Tweets.
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Animals
What does a cat go to sleep on?
A caterpillow.
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Music
Which rock group consists of four men that don't sing?
Mount Rushmore.
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Puns
What's a shoemaker's favorite dessert?
Cobbler.
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Food & Drinks
What pasta is always ready for a formal event?
Bow tie.
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Puns
What's a shoemaker's favorite dessert?
Cobbler.
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Science
What do you call a dog in space?
Astromutt.
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Holiday
Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?
He's a real pain in the neck.
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Puns
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
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Animals
Why is an elephant braver than a hen?
Because the elephant isn't chicken.
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Puns
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper.
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People
Who is the worm's Prime Minister?
Maggot Thatcher.
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Animals
What dinosaur would win the track gold medal at the Olympics?
The Prontosaurus.
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