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What did the seal say when he saw his friend jump in the ocean?

I otter do that!

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Puns

Imagine you're in a room with no windows and no doors, how do you get out?

Stop imagining.

Animals

What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?

He got lockjaw.

Animals

Why don't ants get sick?

Because they have little antibodies.

a major highway in Shanghai, China lit up at nightVehicles

What are the smartest highways in the world?

Roads scholars.

an apple pie with a lattice crust, dusted with powdered sugarEntertainment

Which Count makes the best pie crust?

The Count of Monte Crisco.

Sports

What do a baseball team and a baker have in common?

They need a good batter!

People

What do they call pastors in Germany?

German Shepherds.

Animals

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?

That hit the spots.

Puns

What is a mouse's favorite game?

Hide and squeak.

Animals

What did the beaver say to the tree?

Been nice gnawing you.

Animals

What do you call the pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

sit on the clock?Puns

Why did the person sit on the clock?

So they could be ON time.

Professional

Why was the plumber predicted to win American Idol?

He had an amazing set of pipes.

Outdoors

What do you call a BBQ by the pool?

A swim meat.

Sports

What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?

Live stream.

two Mallard ducks are flying side-by-sidePuns

What birds always travel in twos?

Pair-rots.