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What did the rug say to the floor?

I've got you covered.

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Food & Drinks

What do fairies always drink?

Sprite.

Professional

What's a dentist's favorite movie?

Jaws.

Animals

What kind of dog loves to eat?

A Chow.

Entertainment

What's the name of the winner of the chicken-eating contest?

The Lord of the Wings.

Animals

What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?

None. It just lets out a little wine.

Cat's breakfast?Animals

What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.

Puns

How often should you make chemistry jokes?

Periodically.

Puns

What's a henway?

About ten pounds.

a woman in a library sits gesturing to a laptop in front of a large notepad filled with math equationsEducation

Where do math enthusiasts go on vacation?

The Great Planes.

Animals

What does a queen bee do when she burps?

Issues a royal pardon.

Outdoors

How did the farmer fix his torn overalls?

With a cabbage patch.

Professional

Why was the air compressor dripping with sweat?

It had been running all day and night.

Animals

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?

Take away its credit cards.

Puns

How do locomotives know where to go?

They have a lot of training.

a grassy green lawn with trees and a row of hedgesOutdoors

Why is shrubbery so bad at being direct with people?

Because it always beats around the bush.

two business people talking in front of a city office buildingPolitical

Why are bankers so good at American politics?

It's a system of checks and balances!