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What did the rug say to the floor?

I've got you covered.

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Food & Drinks

What do fairies always drink?

Sprite.

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Professional

What's a dentist's favorite movie?

Jaws.

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Animals

What kind of dog loves to eat?

A Chow.

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Entertainment

What's the name of the winner of the chicken-eating contest?

The Lord of the Wings.

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Animals

What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?

None. It just lets out a little wine.

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Cat's breakfast?Animals

What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.

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Puns

How often should you make chemistry jokes?

Periodically.

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Puns

What's a henway?

About ten pounds.

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a woman in a library sits gesturing to a laptop in front of a large notepad filled with math equationsEducation

Where do math enthusiasts go on vacation?

The Great Planes.

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Animals

What does a queen bee do when she burps?

Issues a royal pardon.

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Outdoors

How did the farmer fix his torn overalls?

With a cabbage patch.

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Professional

Why was the air compressor dripping with sweat?

It had been running all day and night.

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Animals

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?

Take away its credit cards.

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Puns

How do locomotives know where to go?

They have a lot of training.

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a grassy green lawn with trees and a row of hedgesOutdoors

Why is shrubbery so bad at being direct with people?

Because it always beats around the bush.

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two business people talking in front of a city office buildingPolitical

Why are bankers so good at American politics?

It's a system of checks and balances!

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