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What did the portable fan say to the ceiling fan?

Sorry, I'm just not a big fan.

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Puns

Why do piggy banks give the best advice?

Because they're filled with so much common cents.

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a group of people stands around a table displaying blueprints of some sortProfessional

Which CIA agent is the best baker?

The s-pie.

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Puns

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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Animals

What do you call a parrot making fun of you?

A mockingbird.

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Puns

What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?

This one will sleigh you.

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The fish?Animals

Why did the fish blush?

Because it saw the ocean's bottom.

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Animals

What animal should you never play hide and seek with?

A chameleon.

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Outdoors

What flowers rarely depreciate in value?

Mari-golds.

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a clear plastic tub is filled with water and apples sitting on the ground with fall leavesAnimals

What animal won the bobbing for apples contest at the fair?

A bobcat.

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Puns

What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

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Animals

Why couldn't the leopard hide?

He was always spotted.

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Animals

What do you call the hen that regularly counts her eggs?

A mathmachicken.

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Animals

Why didn't the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?

A cat-a-logue.

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Political

How did Barack ask Michelle to be his wife?

He bought a ring, got on one knee, and said "Will you marry me? I don't wanna be Obamaself."

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Animals

What's a snake's strongest subject in school?

Hiss-tory.

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