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What did the portable fan say to the ceiling fan?

Sorry, I'm just not a big fan.

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Puns

Why do piggy banks give the best advice?

Because they're filled with so much common cents.

a group of people stands around a table displaying blueprints of some sortProfessional

Which CIA agent is the best baker?

The s-pie.

Puns

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

Animals

What do you call a parrot making fun of you?

A mockingbird.

Puns

What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?

This one will sleigh you.

The fish?Animals

Why did the fish blush?

Because it saw the ocean's bottom.

Animals

What animal should you never play hide and seek with?

A chameleon.

Outdoors

What flowers rarely depreciate in value?

Mari-golds.

a clear plastic tub is filled with water and apples sitting on the ground with fall leavesAnimals

What animal won the bobbing for apples contest at the fair?

A bobcat.

Puns

What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

Animals

Why couldn't the leopard hide?

He was always spotted.

Animals

What do you call the hen that regularly counts her eggs?

A mathmachicken.

Animals

Why didn't the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?

A cat-a-logue.

Political

How did Barack ask Michelle to be his wife?

He bought a ring, got on one knee, and said "Will you marry me? I don't wanna be Obamaself."

Animals

What's a snake's strongest subject in school?

Hiss-tory.