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What did the Parisian say after cutting his grass?

Time to baguette.

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The Monkeys?Puns

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?

PRIME-mates.

Mummy music?Music

What kind of music do mummies listen to?

Wrap music.

Food & Drinks

Why was the seafood restaurant being investigated by the IRS?

They were suspected of being a shell company in some fishy business.

Santa & soccer?Holiday

What did Santa bring the naughty soccer player?

COOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!

Animals

Where do baby cats learn to swim?

The kitty pool.

Education

Where do you go when you need an excuse to get out of something?

A lie-brary.

Food & Drinks

What's a horse's favorite fruit?

Straw-berries.

Family

How did the baby tell her mom that she had a wet diaper?

She sent her a pee-mail.

Puns

What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig?

A groundhog.

Food & Drinks

What do you call a sad strawberry shake?

A blueberry shake.

Puns

What sound does a witch's car make?

Broom broom!

Food & Drinks

Why do diners never serve lobster?

They're shellfish.

Sports

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run.

Animals

What do frogs drink in the winter?

Hot croako.

Puns

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps.