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What did the painter say to the wall?

One more crack and I'll plaster you.

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Puns

How do you take a pig to the hospital?

By hambulance.

People

Which celebrity shines the brightest?

Emma Watt-son.

Puns

Everyone says that mushroom is such a fungi, so why didn't they have the party at his house?

Because he didn't have mushroom there.

a police officer in full uniform kneels on the pavement next to his german shepherd against a foggy backgroundAnimals

What animal is always ready to protect people?

An arm-adillo.

Holiday

What do you call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

a pair of orange swim trunks against a light blue backgroundPuns

Why did the man bring his swim trunks to the bar?

He heard they had a pool table.

Animals

What do you call a parrot making fun of you?

A mockingbird.

Puns

What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?

Sorry, I just don't feel a spark.

Vehicles

What's a horse's favorite car?

A Mustang.

Animals

What's the world's weakest animal?

A toad, he croaks if you even touch him.

The penguins?Animals

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together.

a large white and blue iceberg floating in waterAnimals

What outfit is appropriate for a dinner in the Arctic?

A penguin tuxedo.

Animals

Why did the chicken cross the net?

It wanted to get to the other site.

Animals

Where would you find an elephant?

The same place you lost it.

Puns

How does a single horse RSVP to a party?

They're going stag.

a nervous-looking man wears a red cape and holds his goggles on top of his headEntertainment

Which superhero is afraid of exterminators?

Ant-man.