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What did the painter say to the wall?

One more crack and I'll plaster you.

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Puns

How do you take a pig to the hospital?

By hambulance.

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People

Which celebrity shines the brightest?

Emma Watt-son.

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Puns

Everyone says that mushroom is such a fungi, so why didn't they have the party at his house?

Because he didn't have mushroom there.

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a police officer in full uniform kneels on the pavement next to his german shepherd against a foggy backgroundAnimals

What animal is always ready to protect people?

An arm-adillo.

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Holiday

What do you call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

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a pair of orange swim trunks against a light blue backgroundPuns

Why did the man bring his swim trunks to the bar?

He heard they had a pool table.

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Animals

What do you call a parrot making fun of you?

A mockingbird.

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Puns

What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?

Sorry, I just don't feel a spark.

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Vehicles

What's a horse's favorite car?

A Mustang.

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Animals

What's the world's weakest animal?

A toad, he croaks if you even touch him.

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The penguins?Animals

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together.

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a large white and blue iceberg floating in waterAnimals

What outfit is appropriate for a dinner in the Arctic?

A penguin tuxedo.

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Animals

Why did the chicken cross the net?

It wanted to get to the other site.

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Animals

Where would you find an elephant?

The same place you lost it.

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Puns

How does a single horse RSVP to a party?

They're going stag.

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a nervous-looking man wears a red cape and holds his goggles on top of his headEntertainment

Which superhero is afraid of exterminators?

Ant-man.

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