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What did the obituary say for the pot of boiling water?
You will be mist.
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Animals
What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs bunny.
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Animals
What is the definition of Robin?
A bird who steals.
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Holiday
What's a mummy's favorite food to eat?
Wraps.
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Puns
What insect runs away from everything?
A flee.
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Sports
What game can you play while eating dinner?
Table tennis.
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Family
Why are goats so funny?
They're always kidding around.
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Animals
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?
Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
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Sports
Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?
So that they can pack the defense.
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Animals
Why did the elephant eat the candle?
For light refreshment.
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Puns
Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
Because she was afraid someone would caesar.
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Animals
There were four cats in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left?
None. They were all copy cats.
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Animals
What do you call the dog magician?
A labra-cadabra.
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Current Events
When do flowers get their workout in?
Spring Training.
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Animals
Why did the frog have a long face?
He was un-hoppy.
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Entertainment
How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side.
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Puns
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows!
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