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What did the obituary say for the pot of boiling water?

You will be mist.

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The rabbit?Animals

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs bunny.

Animals

What is the definition of Robin?

A bird who steals.

Holiday

What's a mummy's favorite food to eat?

Wraps.

Puns

What insect runs away from everything?

A flee.

Sports

What game can you play while eating dinner?

Table tennis.

Family

Why are goats so funny?

They're always kidding around.

Animals

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?

Because everyone had to go on in pairs.

Sports

Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?

So that they can pack the defense.

Animals

Why did the elephant eat the candle?

For light refreshment.

Puns

Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?

Because she was afraid someone would caesar.

Animals

There were four cats in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left?

None. They were all copy cats.

Animals

What do you call the dog magician?

A labra-cadabra.

Current Events

When do flowers get their workout in?

Spring Training.

Animals

Why did the frog have a long face?

He was un-hoppy.

Darth Vader?Entertainment

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

no body?Puns

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows!