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What did the obituary say for the pot of boiling water?

You will be mist.

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The rabbit?Animals

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs bunny.

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Animals

What is the definition of Robin?

A bird who steals.

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Holiday

What's a mummy's favorite food to eat?

Wraps.

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Puns

What insect runs away from everything?

A flee.

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Sports

What game can you play while eating dinner?

Table tennis.

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Family

Why are goats so funny?

They're always kidding around.

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Animals

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?

Because everyone had to go on in pairs.

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Sports

Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?

So that they can pack the defense.

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Animals

Why did the elephant eat the candle?

For light refreshment.

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Puns

Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?

Because she was afraid someone would caesar.

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Animals

There were four cats in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left?

None. They were all copy cats.

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Animals

What do you call the dog magician?

A labra-cadabra.

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Current Events

When do flowers get their workout in?

Spring Training.

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Animals

Why did the frog have a long face?

He was un-hoppy.

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Darth Vader?Entertainment

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

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no body?Puns

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows!

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