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What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate his ice cream too fast?

Quit goblin your dessert.

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Animals

Where do frogs keep their money?

In a river bank.

Sports

Where do religious school children practice sports?

In the prayground!

Animals

Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?

To improve his bite.

a bowling ball is striking a set of pinsSports

Why was the bowling ball anxious?

It was hitting pins and needles!

Political

How did Barack ask Michelle to be his wife?

He bought a ring, got on one knee, and said "Will you marry me? I don't wanna be Obamaself."

Animals

What's the main rule in zebra baseball?

Three stripes and you're out!

Outdoors

Why was the bud so shy?

It just hadn't blossomed yet.

Animals

What do you call a famous turtle?

A shellebrity.

Holiday

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

two dolphins are talking to each otherAnimals

What's the ocean's funniest animal?

A clownfish.

Professional

What has a lot more letters than the alphabet?

The post office.

a close-up of a blue fin tuna fish swimming in clear blue waterAnimals

What fish loves to play in a band?

A sea-bass.

a cat is playing with a roll of toilet paper in the bathroomAnimals

Why did the cat go to the bathroom in the trash can?

Because it's a litter box.

Animals

What animal should you never play hide and seek with?

A chameleon.

three people wearing business casual clothes are also wearing red masks and capes, posing like superheroesPuns

Where do superheroes blend right in?

Cape Canaveral.

Animals

How much does it cost to swim with the sharks?

An arm and a leg.