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What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?

That hit the spots.

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Animals

What does a cat go to sleep on?

A caterpillow.

Sports

What dish does only a baseball player use?

The home plate.

Sports

Why did the mom decide to play soccer in her spare time?

Just for kicks.

Puns

What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?

Dad, dad, look what marma-laid!

Puns

What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?

The letter "E".

Holiday

What is the best Christmas present ever?

A broken drum-you can't beat it.

Outdoors

What kind of bow can't be tied?

A rainbow!

Astronaut's baby?Science

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?

You rocket.

Sports

What do you call a basketball player with a drooling problem?

Double dribble.

Food & Drinks

What do you call stolen cheese?

Nacho cheese.

Holiday

What did Santa bring to the potluck?

Slaw la la la laaa, la la la laaaaaa.

Animals

What did the duck say as he was buying chapstick?

Just put it on my bill.

Sports

What is the difference between baseball and law?

In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

Animals

What do you call a golden retriever at the beach in July?

A hot dog.

Animals

What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?

He called a tow truck.

Animals

What's a bee's favorite novel?

The Great Gats-bee.