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What did the horse say when it collapsed?

"Help! I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"

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Sports

Why do grasshoppers not go to many football games?

They prefer cricket matches.

Manufacturing?Professional

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisFACTORY.

a police officer in full uniform kneels on the pavement next to his german shepherd against a foggy backgroundAnimals

What animal is always ready to protect people?

An arm-adillo.

Animals

What do you call a dog that meditates?

Aware wolf.

Animals

What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?

Tweetie Pie.

Puns

Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak.

Animals

Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?

Because they couldn't hold their trunks up.

Professional

What's a dentist's favorite movie?

Jaws.

Animals

What do you call the pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Animals

Who is the bees' favorite singer?

Sting.

Animals

How expensive is swimming with sharks?

It cost me an arm and a leg!

People

Why can't the lifeguards save the hippies?

Because they're too far out.

Forest Gump?Entertainment

What was Forrest Gump's email password?

"1forrest1"

People

Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Food & Drinks

What is the opposite of coffee?

Sneezy.

Music

What did the windmill say when it was asked what type of music was its favorite?

I'm a big fan of metal.