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What did the horse say when it collapsed?

"Help! I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"

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Sports

Why do grasshoppers not go to many football games?

They prefer cricket matches.

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Manufacturing?Professional

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisFACTORY.

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a police officer in full uniform kneels on the pavement next to his german shepherd against a foggy backgroundAnimals

What animal is always ready to protect people?

An arm-adillo.

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Animals

What do you call a dog that meditates?

Aware wolf.

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Animals

What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?

Tweetie Pie.

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Puns

Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak.

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Animals

Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?

Because they couldn't hold their trunks up.

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Professional

What's a dentist's favorite movie?

Jaws.

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Animals

What do you call the pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

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Animals

Who is the bees' favorite singer?

Sting.

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Animals

How expensive is swimming with sharks?

It cost me an arm and a leg!

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People

Why can't the lifeguards save the hippies?

Because they're too far out.

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Forest Gump?Entertainment

What was Forrest Gump's email password?

"1forrest1"

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People

Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

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Food & Drinks

What is the opposite of coffee?

Sneezy.

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Music

What did the windmill say when it was asked what type of music was its favorite?

I'm a big fan of metal.

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