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What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?

A cookie sheet!

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Travel

Which celebrity loves to go on vacation?

Tom Cruise.

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Professional

What do basketball players and lawyers have in common?

They both go to court.

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Peter Pan?People

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He neverlands.

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Food & Drinks

What do you call a sad latte?

Depresso.

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Family

Who are crows' favorite family members?

Caw-sins.

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Animals

What did the confused bee say?

To bee or not to bee.

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Music

What do you call a dog that's blasting out music at the bottom of the ocean?

A subwoofer.

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Animals

What does a lion call an antelope?

Fast food.

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Political

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

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Puns

What do you call a Russian flea?

A Moscow-ito.

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Professional

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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Puns

What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?

Bernadette.

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Animals

Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover its butt-quack.

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Holiday

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A dependent Claus.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower.

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Animals

How do you care for a sick bird?

Tweetment.

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