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What did the French chef say when he made a mistake?

Oh crepe!

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Holiday

What is the best Christmas present ever?

A broken drum-you can't beat it.

Animals

Why didn't the elephant buy a suitcase for his summer camp?

Because he already had a trunk!

Animals

How do you spot a modern spider?

He has a website.

sit on the clock?Puns

Why did the person sit on the clock?

So they could be ON time.

Animals

What do you call the hen that regularly counts her eggs?

A mathmachicken.

Animals

What do you call a dog that meditates?

Aware wolf.

a caddy of various cleaning supplies, including soap, sponges, gloves, spray, etc.Education

Why was the janitor looking for cleaning products in the math department?

Because he heard there are lots of solutions.

People

Who do camels find most inspiring?

The Dalai Llama.

Political

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

Food & Drinks

What is the loneliest cheese?

Prov-alone.

Puns

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope.

Sports

Why do Olympians never overheat?

Because they have a lot of fans.

Holiday

How is a sofa like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Because they're both full of stuffing.

Vehicles

What's always messy no matter how many times you clean it?

A dirt bike.

Entertainment

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

In dayscare.

a view of a green mountain forest with many pine trees and a blue sky behindOutdoors

Why are trees always so positive?

Because they have a pe-can do attitude.