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What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod.

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Animals

Why are frogs always happy?

They eat what bugs them.

Entertainment

Why are ET's eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill.

Puns

How did the mermaid call her friends?

On her shell phone, of course.

two dolphins are talking to each otherAnimals

What's the ocean's funniest animal?

A clownfish.

Puns

What has 12 legs, six eyes, three tails and can't see?

Three blind mice.

Education

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

Animals

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?

Dam.

Puns

What lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates neighbors?

A hermit crab.

Sports

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?

Bring on their subs.

Animals

How long do chickens work?

Around the cluck.

Education

Why was the room so hot during the college graduation?

There were thousands of degrees packed in there.

Food & Drinks

What do snowmen eat for lunch?

Icebergers.

People

What do you call it when you get bubbles in your mouth while singing in the shower?

A soap opera.

Outdoors

What happens when grass goes out of town?

It's a field day!

Music

What's a balloon's least favorite type of music?

Pop.

Current Events

What's a worm's favorite holiday?

Earth Day.