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What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
Dam.
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Animals
What do you call dogs that rarely bark?
Hushpuppies.
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Outdoors
What did the giant flower say to the tiny flower?
Hey there, bud!
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Political
Which former US President gets most confused for money?
Bill Clinton.
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Puns
Why is it wrong to steal a thesaurus?
Because people have no words for how angry it makes them.
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Animals
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog, because it croaks every night.
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Food & Drinks
Why do some people love eating snails?
They really hate fast food.
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Science
Why did the astronaut's restaurant on the moon fail?
The food was good, but there was no atmosphere.
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Puns
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
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Education
Why was the janitor looking for cleaning products in the math department?
Because he heard there are lots of solutions.
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Music
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't tunafish.
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Holiday
Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
They are very scent-imental.
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Holiday
What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
Santa pause.
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Animals
What's the biggest moth in the world?
A mammoth.
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Sports
Why can't Cinderella play soccer?
Because she's always running away from the ball!
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Animals
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
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Animals
What did the beaver say to the tree?
Been nice gnawing you.
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