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What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?

Dam.

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a close-up of a dog's nose and front paws sticking out of a white blanketAnimals

What do you call dogs that rarely bark?

Hushpuppies.

Outdoors

What did the giant flower say to the tiny flower?

Hey there, bud!

Political

Which former US President gets most confused for money?

Bill Clinton.

Puns

Why is it wrong to steal a thesaurus?

Because people have no words for how angry it makes them.

Animals

What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog, because it croaks every night.

Food & Drinks

Why do some people love eating snails?

They really hate fast food.

Science

Why did the astronaut's restaurant on the moon fail?

The food was good, but there was no atmosphere.

Puns

What kind of pole is short and floppy?

A tadpole.

a caddy of various cleaning supplies, including soap, sponges, gloves, spray, etc.Education

Why was the janitor looking for cleaning products in the math department?

Because he heard there are lots of solutions.

Music

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tunafish.

Holiday

Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

They are very scent-imental.

Holiday

What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?

Santa pause.

Animals

What's the biggest moth in the world?

A mammoth.

Sports

Why can't Cinderella play soccer?

Because she's always running away from the ball!

Animals

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?

A headbanger.

Animals

What did the beaver say to the tree?

Been nice gnawing you.