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What did the duck say as he was buying chapstick?
Just put it on my bill.
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Puns
What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
We have to stick together.
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Animals
How do you raise a baby elephant?
With a forklift truck.
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Holiday
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
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People
What did Snow White say while waiting in line for her photos?
Some day my prints will come.
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Holiday
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
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Animals
What's a bear's favorite movie?
Pirates of the Care-bear-ean.
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Puns
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?
Reptiles.
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Sports
What did they call Dracula when he won the league?
The champire.
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Puns
What did one angel say to the other angel?
Halo there.
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Animals
How much does it cost to swim with the sharks?
An arm and a leg.
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Puns
What do you call a belt made of clocks?
A waist of time.
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People
What did Sherlock Holmes deduce when he woke up during his camping trip and saw the stars?
That someone had stolen his tent.
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Food & Drinks
How do eggs end a TV show?
That's all, yolks!
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Animals
What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?
A guard dog.
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Animals
Why did the cat go to the bathroom in the trash can?
Because it's a litter box.
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Professional
Which CIA agent is the best baker?
The s-pie.
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