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What did the clean dog say to the insect?

Long time, no flea.

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Retired veggies?Food & Drinks

What do you call a retired vegetable?

A has-bean.

Travel

Which celebrity loves to go on vacation?

Tom Cruise.

Vehicles

What kind of car do eggs drive?

A Yolkswagen.

Current Events

What do you get when two plants kiss?

Tulips!

Puns

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing. It just waved.

moon restaurant?Science

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, but no atmosphere.

Animals

Why is it called a litter of puppies?

Because they mess up the whole house.

crowded graveyard?Holiday

It's Crowded!

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.

Puns

Why was the moth so unpopular?

He kept picking holes in everything.

Animals

When should you stop for a glow worm?

When he has a red light.

Puns

Why did the computer run out of money?

Someone cleaned out its cache.

Animals

What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?

He kicked the bucket.

Animals

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?

An alarm cluck.

a Scottish wildcat is crawling on a tree log in a forestAnimals

Why did the wildcat have such a successful email newsletter?

It always had the best lynx.

Animals

Why does an elephant wear sneakers?

So that he can sneak up on mice.