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What did the angry customer say to the mechanic who couldn't figure out what was wrong with his car?

You auto-know better!

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Food & Drinks

Why do diners never serve lobster?

They're shellfish.

People

Which computer won the talent show?

A Dell.

Animals

Why are elephants wiser than chickens?

Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant?

Animals

What is a parrot's favorite game?

Hide and speak.

Food & Drinks

How long will dinner be?

About a foot and a half.

Puns

My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.

So I had to put my foot down!

Holiday

What do birds serve on Halloween?

Tweets.

a girl dressed in an 80s-style windbreaker, white sunglasses, and a side ponytail poses for the cameraFood & Drinks

What vegetable still uses slang from the '80s?

A rad-ish.

Animals

Why do mama kangaroos hate rainy days?

Because their kids have to play inside all day.

Manufacturing?Professional

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisFACTORY.

Puns

What did the whale say to the dolphin when he pushed him?

I didn't do it on porpoise.

Animals

How do you care for a sick bird?

Tweetment.

Animals

How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters?

C-A-T.

Food & Drinks

What did one pickle say to the other when it didn't get its way?

Dill with it.

Entertainment

What do you get if you cross a science fiction film with a toad?

Star Warts.

Puns

How do you measure a millennial?

In Insta-grams.