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What did the angry customer say to the mechanic who couldn't figure out what was wrong with his car?

You auto-know better!

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Food & Drinks

Why do diners never serve lobster?

They're shellfish.

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People

Which computer won the talent show?

A Dell.

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Animals

Why are elephants wiser than chickens?

Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant?

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Animals

What is a parrot's favorite game?

Hide and speak.

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Food & Drinks

How long will dinner be?

About a foot and a half.

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Puns

My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.

So I had to put my foot down!

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Holiday

What do birds serve on Halloween?

Tweets.

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a girl dressed in an 80s-style windbreaker, white sunglasses, and a side ponytail poses for the cameraFood & Drinks

What vegetable still uses slang from the '80s?

A rad-ish.

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Animals

Why do mama kangaroos hate rainy days?

Because their kids have to play inside all day.

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Manufacturing?Professional

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisFACTORY.

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Puns

What did the whale say to the dolphin when he pushed him?

I didn't do it on porpoise.

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Animals

How do you care for a sick bird?

Tweetment.

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Animals

How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters?

C-A-T.

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Food & Drinks

What did one pickle say to the other when it didn't get its way?

Dill with it.

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Entertainment

What do you get if you cross a science fiction film with a toad?

Star Warts.

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Puns

How do you measure a millennial?

In Insta-grams.

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