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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion?

Take me to your weeder.

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Sports

What sport do birds of prey love to watch?

Hawk-ey.

Education

Why did the student eat their homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Animals

What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?

He got lockjaw.

Food & Drinks

What did the bread say when he proposed to his girlfriend?

I loaf you!

Entertainment

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?

Ribbon hood.

Puns

What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?

Sorry, I just don't feel a spark.

Puns

I used to be addicted to not showering.

Luckily, I've been clean for five years.

Education

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

You have my Word!

Political

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

Animals

Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?

Because she heard fowl language.

an illustration of many planets in a galaxyVehicles

What type of car do planets buy?

A Mercury.

Puns

What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

Puns

What dance was the most popular in 1776?

The indepen-dance.

bird drinking?Animals

How many beers does it take to get a tropical bird drunk?

Toucans!

Animals

What do my dog and my cellphone have in common?

They both have collar I.D.