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What car picked Mickey and Minnie up for their movie premiere?

A li-mouse-ine.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?

The collie wobbles.

Education

Why was the grandma always getting A's on her papers?

She had a knack for gram-mer.

Current Events

When do flowers get their workout in?

Spring Training.

a close-up of a Burrowing owl with its head turned sideways at the cameraAnimals

What bird is losing its hair?

A bald eagle.

Sports

Why do baseball players have such great retirement plans?

They want to make sure their bases are covered.

two surfers sit on their boards in the water while holding up the "hang loose" signProfessional

Why are surfers so good at conflict resolution?

If anyone makes waves they just ride them off.

Entertainment

Who is a pig's favorite Star Wars character?

Ham Solo.

Holiday

How is a sofa like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Because they're both full of stuffing.

Animals

What is another name for a cow?

A lawn-mooer.

People

Which celebrity is always prepared for cereal?

Reese, with her spoon.

Science

Why did the mathematician decline a beer at the party?

He didn't want to drink and derive.

Animals

How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters?

C-A-T.

Puns

What kind of books do boats write?

Ferry tales.

Current Events

When do flowers get their workout in?

Spring Training.

Puns

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?

He prawned everything.

Outdoors

What's a tornado's favorite game?

Twister.