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What car is the perfect size for mice?

A minivan.

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a man with multi-colored hair, beard, and shirt holds up a multi-colored paint roller in front of his facePuns

What do painters do when they make a mistake?

They go back to the drawing board.

Food & Drinks

Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?

Because they put on the salsa.

Music

What do you call berries playing the guitar?

A jam session.

Food & Drinks

What loaf of bread has a bad attitude?

Sourdough.

People

Which celebrity is always prepared for cereal?

Reese, with her spoon.

Puns

Why do vampires always look sick?

They keep coffin.

Sports

Why can't Cinderella play soccer?

Because she's always running away from the ball!

Animals

Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?

Because she heard fowl language.

Food & Drinks

Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?

They're too cheesy.

People

Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Sports

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run.

Outdoors

How did the farmer fix his torn overalls?

With a cabbage patch.

Education

What color are all the books in the library?

Red.

Animals

What do chickens serve at birthday parties?

Coop-cakes.

Animals

Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?

To improve his bite.

People

Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.