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What car is the perfect size for mice?
A minivan.
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Puns
What do painters do when they make a mistake?
They go back to the drawing board.
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Food & Drinks
Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
Because they put on the salsa.
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Music
What do you call berries playing the guitar?
A jam session.
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Food & Drinks
What loaf of bread has a bad attitude?
Sourdough.
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People
Which celebrity is always prepared for cereal?
Reese, with her spoon.
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Puns
Why do vampires always look sick?
They keep coffin.
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Sports
Why can't Cinderella play soccer?
Because she's always running away from the ball!
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Animals
Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?
Because she heard fowl language.
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Food & Drinks
Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
They're too cheesy.
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People
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
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Sports
Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?
Because education pays off in the long run.
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Outdoors
How did the farmer fix his torn overalls?
With a cabbage patch.
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Education
What color are all the books in the library?
Red.
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Animals
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
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Animals
Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?
To improve his bite.
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People
Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
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