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What book do lions read aloud to their whole family?

Pride and Prejudice.

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a grassy green lawn with trees and a row of hedgesOutdoors

Why is shrubbery so bad at being direct with people?

Because it always beats around the bush.

Professional

What do basketball players and lawyers have in common?

They both go to court.

Family

Which family member is always relieved?

A ne-phew.

Professional

What do cats wear to work?

Kitten heels.

Sports

Where do religious school children practice sports?

In the prayground!

Animals

What animal scores the most in basketball?

A dunk-ey.

Animals

What do frogs drink in the winter?

Hot croako.

Puns

Who sits in a corner all day but somehow still travels the world?

A stamp.

Animals

What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?

He kicked the bucket.

Puns

What do you do when two snails fight?

Let them slug it out.

a humpback whale breaches the surface and jumps out of the waterPuns

What is a whale's favorite sport?

Beach-ed volleyball.

Puns

What is the difference between fleas and dogs?

Dogs can have fleas but fleas can't have dogs.

Animals

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the referee calling fowls.

Puns

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales.

Puns

Where would you put an injured insect?

In an antbulance.

Food & Drinks

What's the worst kind of bread for sandwiches?

Meatloaf.