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What bird ends up constantly getting hurt?

The owl.

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Animals

What kind of bird can write?

A PENguin.

a woman in a yellow jacket makes a grimace while she plugs her earsAnimals

What animal always gets on everyone's nerves?

A badger.

Holiday

Why was Santa's little helper embarrassed?

Because he had low elf esteem.

Puns

How was the wedding?

So beautiful! Even the cake was in tiers!

Puns

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing. It just waved.

Entertainment

Why are ET's eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill.

Holiday

Why is April the cleanest month of all?

Spring cleaning!

Balanced Checked?Puns

She Needed Her Balance Checked!

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over!

Puns

Why did the man decide to sell his vacuum?

It was gathering dust.

Holiday

Who delivers the cat's Christmas presents?

Santa Paws.

Entertainment

Who is a pig's favorite Star Wars character?

Ham Solo.

two children wearing backpacks are writing equations on a chalkboardEducation

Why was the mean not looking forward to the end of the school year?

Because it had to go to sum-mer school.

a man dressed in 1970s fashion is dancing in front of a psychedelic orange backgroundPuns

Why were dancers in the '70s always sick?

They all had boogie fever!

Puns

What did the painter say to the wall?

One more crack and I'll plaster you.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?

A cat-a-logue.

Puns

What is a mouse's favorite game?

Hide and squeak.