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What bird ends up constantly getting hurt?

The owl.

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Animals

What kind of bird can write?

A PENguin.

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a woman in a yellow jacket makes a grimace while she plugs her earsAnimals

What animal always gets on everyone's nerves?

A badger.

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Holiday

Why was Santa's little helper embarrassed?

Because he had low elf esteem.

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Puns

How was the wedding?

So beautiful! Even the cake was in tiers!

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Puns

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing. It just waved.

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Entertainment

Why are ET's eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill.

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Holiday

Why is April the cleanest month of all?

Spring cleaning!

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Balanced Checked?Puns

She Needed Her Balance Checked!

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over!

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Puns

Why did the man decide to sell his vacuum?

It was gathering dust.

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Holiday

Who delivers the cat's Christmas presents?

Santa Paws.

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Entertainment

Who is a pig's favorite Star Wars character?

Ham Solo.

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two children wearing backpacks are writing equations on a chalkboardEducation

Why was the mean not looking forward to the end of the school year?

Because it had to go to sum-mer school.

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a man dressed in 1970s fashion is dancing in front of a psychedelic orange backgroundPuns

Why were dancers in the '70s always sick?

They all had boogie fever!

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Puns

What did the painter say to the wall?

One more crack and I'll plaster you.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?

A cat-a-logue.

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Puns

What is a mouse's favorite game?

Hide and squeak.

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