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What bird ends up constantly getting hurt?
The owl.
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Animals
What kind of bird can write?
A PENguin.
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Animals
What animal always gets on everyone's nerves?
A badger.
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Holiday
Why was Santa's little helper embarrassed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
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Puns
How was the wedding?
So beautiful! Even the cake was in tiers!
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Puns
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing. It just waved.
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Entertainment
Why are ET's eyes so big?
Because he saw the phone bill.
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Holiday
Why is April the cleanest month of all?
Spring cleaning!
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Puns
She Needed Her Balance Checked!
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over!
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Puns
Why did the man decide to sell his vacuum?
It was gathering dust.
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Holiday
Who delivers the cat's Christmas presents?
Santa Paws.
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Entertainment
Who is a pig's favorite Star Wars character?
Ham Solo.
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Education
Why was the mean not looking forward to the end of the school year?
Because it had to go to sum-mer school.
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Puns
Why were dancers in the '70s always sick?
They all had boogie fever!
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Puns
What did the painter say to the wall?
One more crack and I'll plaster you.
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Animals
What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A cat-a-logue.
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Puns
What is a mouse's favorite game?
Hide and squeak.
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