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What animal loves Indian food?

A dal-matian.

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Holiday

Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?

He's a real pain in the neck.

Lying ghosts?Animals

Why are ghosts such bad liars?

You can see right through them.

two auto mechanics are using a tablet while fixing an engineProfessional

People are so hard on car mechanics.

They can't catch a brake.

many potato chips are spaced out on a blue surfaceAnimals

Which forest animal loves to eat Lay's®?

A chipmunk.

Puns

Why did the man decide to sell his vacuum?

It was gathering dust.

Education

What's a snake's favorite subject in school?

Hissssss-tory.

Education

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

You have my Word!

Sports

How did the football pitch end up as a triangle?

Somebody took a corner back.

Puns

Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag?

They can lighten your load.

Puns

Where would you put an injured insect?

In an antbulance.

Food & Drinks

Why did the baby cookie cry?

Because its mother was a wafer so long.

Holiday

Why was Santa's little helper embarrassed?

Because he had low elf esteem.

Puns

How did the mermaid call her friends?

On her shell phone, of course.

Animals

What do you call a monkey who's a whiz at technology?

A computer chimp.

two auto mechanics are using a tablet while fixing an engineProfessional

People are so hard on car mechanics.

They can't catch a brake.

Professional

What day of the week takes nothing seriously?

Casual Friday.