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What animal is always ready to protect people?

An arm-adillo.

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one chick pops its head up while the others are pecking at the groundPeople

Why did Beethoven give away his chickens?

They kept saying: Bach, Bach, Bach...

a close-up of two feet wearing flip-flop sandals on a yellow backgroundHoliday

Why are sandals so indecisive?

They always flip-flop back and forth.

Puns

What dance was the most popular in 1776?

The indepen-dance.

Outdoors

Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they are shellfish.

Animals

How much does it cost to swim with the sharks?

An arm and a leg.

Puns

Why do vampires always look sick?

They keep coffin.

Puns

How does a single horse RSVP to a party?

They're going stag.

a woman dressed up as Catwoman poses atop a small yellow structureEntertainment

What does Catwoman always carry with her?

Her purrrse.

Sports

Why did the basketball player have so many good arguments?

He was the point guard.

many potato chips are spaced out on a blue surfaceAnimals

Which forest animal loves to eat Lay's®?

A chipmunk.

Sports

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?

Bring on their subs.

Education

What's a snake's favorite subject in school?

Hissssss-tory.

Sports

Why couldn't the skateboard pass math class?

It just couldn't get a handle on it.

Food & Drinks

Why are bakers paid so much money?

They make the big dough.

a woman wearing an orange sweater is yelling into a megaphonePeople

Which celebrity has the loudest scream?

Pierce Brosnan.