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What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog, because it croaks every night.

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Animals

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Eileen.

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two colorful tropical fish are swimming near each otherPuns

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?

Your plaice or mine?

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Sports

When fish play football, who is the captain?

The team's kipper.

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People

What do you call an 80-year-old cheerleader?

Old yeller.

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People

Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

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the U.S. Capitol Building Political

What Washington D.C. landmark is great at punctuation?

Capital Hill.

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Animals

Why do worms taste like chewing gum?

Because they're wrigleys.

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Puns

How do mice celebrate when they move home?

Mouse warming party.

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People

What type of shoes in a ninja's favorite?

Sneakers.

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Education

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

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Animals

What happens when a cow doesn't shave?

It grows a moostache.

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Scrambled eggs?Food & Drinks

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up!

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People

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missiletoe.

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Puns

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who?

There's nobel... that's why I knocked.

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two colorful tropical fish are swimming near each otherPuns

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?

Your plaice or mine?

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Sports

What sport do birds of prey love to watch?

Hawk-ey.

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