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What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog, because it croaks every night.

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Animals

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Eileen.

two colorful tropical fish are swimming near each otherPuns

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?

Your plaice or mine?

Sports

When fish play football, who is the captain?

The team's kipper.

People

What do you call an 80-year-old cheerleader?

Old yeller.

People

Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

the U.S. Capitol Building Political

What Washington D.C. landmark is great at punctuation?

Capital Hill.

Animals

Why do worms taste like chewing gum?

Because they're wrigleys.

Puns

How do mice celebrate when they move home?

Mouse warming party.

People

What type of shoes in a ninja's favorite?

Sneakers.

Education

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

Animals

What happens when a cow doesn't shave?

It grows a moostache.

Scrambled eggs?Food & Drinks

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up!

People

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missiletoe.

Puns

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who?

There's nobel... that's why I knocked.

two colorful tropical fish are swimming near each otherPuns

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?

Your plaice or mine?

Sports

What sport do birds of prey love to watch?

Hawk-ey.