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What animal dresses the most fashionably?

A hip-po.

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Holiday

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A dependent Claus.

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Puns

Why did the foal cough?

Because he was a little horse.

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Science

What did the dad say when the boy asked him to explain the solar eclipse to him?

No sun.

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Outdoors

Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they are shellfish.

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Animals

What kind of egg did the evil chicken lay?

A deviled egg.

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Sports

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

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Puns

How does Moses make his coffee so great?

Hebrews it.

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Puns

What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion?

Take me to your weeder.

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People

What do you call an animal pop star?

Justin Beaver.

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People

Which celebrity shines the brightest?

Emma Watt-son.

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a woman is signing an autograph while photographers are taking her picturePeople

Who is the nicest celebrity around?

Tom Thanks.

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Holiday

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?

Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

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Animals

What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?

He kicked the bucket.

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no body?Puns

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows!

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Holiday

Who delivers the cat's Christmas presents?

Santa Paws.

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Puns

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

It was outstanding in its field.

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