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Animals

Why should you not pamper a cow?

You'll get spoiled milk.

Education

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

Animals

What do you call a famous turtle?

A shellebrity.

Animals

Why did the doctor let his dog help with his patients?

Because he had a lab coat.

Current Events

Why was the spring storm in a great mood?

It was on cloud nine!

The Hand?Education

Why can't your hand be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

Puns

What kind of shoes do you make with banana skins?

Slippers.

Outdoors

I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.

Good, good thymes.

a police officer in full uniform kneels on the pavement next to his german shepherd against a foggy backgroundAnimals

What animal is always ready to protect people?

An arm-adillo.

Entertainment

What's the name of Iron Man's thieving younger brother?

Steel-man.

Food & Drinks

Why was the dairy grumpy?

It was sour cream.

Animals

Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?

To improve his bite.

Political

Which office space loves to cut corners?

The Oval Office.

a slice of Parmigiano Reggiano cheese on a wooden cutting board surrounded by basil and tomatoesPeople

Which celebrity is a cheese expert?

Ray Romano.

a Corgi dog is wrapped up in a blanketFamily

What did the puppy call his dad's best friend?

His godpawther.

Animals

There were four cats in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left?

None. They were all copy cats.