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Outdoors

Why did the snowman look through a bag of carrots?

Because he was picking his nose.

Food & Drinks

What did the pear say to the celery stick?

Quit stalking me.

Switzerland a plus?Puns

What is the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but its flag is a big plus.

Animals

Why is an elephant braver than a hen?

Because the elephant isn't chicken.

Vehicles

Why did the train always get heated in an argument?

It was a steam engine.

Animals

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?

Take away its credit cards.

a major highway in Shanghai, China lit up at nightVehicles

What are the smartest highways in the world?

Roads scholars.

People

Why are the Middle Ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

They had so many knights.

People

Why did the runner quit the race against bigfoot?

He couldn't face defeet!

Food & Drinks

Why was the seafood restaurant being investigated by the IRS?

They were suspected of being a shell company in some fishy business.

Animals

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the referee calling fowls.

Animals

What do you call a golden retriever at the beach in July?

A hot dog.

Entertainment

Why does Humpty Dumpty enjoy camping in autumn?

Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

Puns

Why should you be worried about the calendar?

Its days are numbered.

Sports

Where do old bowling balls end up?

In the gutter.

Puns

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

It was outstanding in its field.