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The museum curator needed a break.

So she took her van to gogh out of here!

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Political

Why did the senator bring cookies to the congress session?

He heard they were working on treat-ies.

Sports

How does cardboard get its workout in?

Boxing.

Puns

What does the milky way call its ex-girlfriend?

Space-ex.

Food & Drinks

Why did the baby cookie cry?

Because its mother was a wafer so long.

Professional

What did the NSA employee say when her friend tried to tell her a new joke?

Heard it.

Outdoors

Why are playgrounds so good at dancing?

Because they got that swing!

a white and tan spotted pony appears to smile at the cameraAnimals

Why couldn't the pony speak at the convention?

It was too hoarse.

Animals

What does a cat go to sleep on?

A caterpillow.

Puns

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales.

Animals

What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

Rough Rough!

Puns

Why does the photon not need a suitcase?

Because it's traveling light.

Puns

What did the rug say to the floor?

I've got you covered.

Animals

Why did the tadpole feel lonely?

Because he was newt to the area.

Sports

Why do baseball players have such great retirement plans?

They want to make sure their bases are covered.

People

How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?

Shocked!

Puns

How do you get a country girl to like you?

A tractor.