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What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?

The Masked-quito.

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Entertainment

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

Puns

Wanna hear my favorite potassium joke?

K.

Current Events

What day never takes itself seriously?

April Fool's Day.

Animals

Why didn't the elephant buy a suitcase for his summer camp?

Because he already had a trunk!

Professional

Why was the air compressor dripping with sweat?

It had been running all day and night.

Music

What musical instrument is the best typist?

A keyboard.

Music

What did the windmill say when it was asked what type of music was its favorite?

I'm a big fan of metal.

Food & Drinks

What kind of water do fireworks like?

Sparkling.

Animals

Why did the spider eat fireflies every evening?

He wanted a "light" snack after dinner.

Sports

Why can't Cinderella play soccer?

Because she's always running away from the ball!

Animals

What do you call the pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Puns

What do you get if you cross a steer with a tadpole?

A bullfrog.

Puns

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who?

There's nobel... that's why I knocked.

Animals

What's a bee's favorite novel?

The Great Gats-bee.

Science

What did the dad say when the boy asked him to explain the solar eclipse to him?

No sun.

Puns

Why did the tennis shoe walk away quietly?

It was a sneaker.