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Take him out please!

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy! He is a web designer...

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Sports

Why did the basketball player have so many good arguments?

He was the point guard.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower.

Puns

What do cows like to dance to?

Any kind of moosic you like.

Professional

What's a ghost's favorite work schedule?

The graveyard shift.

The fish?Animals

Why did the fish blush?

Because it saw the ocean's bottom.

Puns

What do you give a sick pig?

Oinkment.

Professional

Why did the person let a fish perform surgery on them?

He's a great sturgeon.

Holiday

Who delivers the cat's Christmas presents?

Santa Paws.

Animals

Why do cats love to work?

They're purr-fect at everything they do.

Holiday

What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?

Santa pause.

Food & Drinks

Why did the lemon stop in the middle of the road?

It ran out of juice.

a woman is signing an autograph while photographers are taking her picturePeople

Who is the nicest celebrity around?

Tom Thanks.

Entertainment

What do you call a hike across the universe?

A star trek.

Animals

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

So-fish-ticated.

People

Who do camels find most inspiring?

The Dalai Llama.

Science

How do you organize a space party?

You planet.