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Someone stole my mood ring!
I don't know how I feel about it!
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Animals
What dinosaur would win the track gold medal at the Olympics?
The Prontosaurus.
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Puns
Why is money so stubborn?
It doesn't want to make change.
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Sports
What position does lemonade play in baseball?
Pitcher.
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Outdoors
Why couldn't the boxer make it in stand-up comedy?
He didn't have the right hook.
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Animals
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
So-fish-ticated.
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Puns
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you.
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Puns
What did the painter say to the wall?
One more crack and I'll plaster you.
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Animals
What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?
None. It just lets out a little wine.
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Sports
What stories are told by basketball players?
Tall stories.
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Animals
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
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Animals
How much money does a skunk have?
One scent.
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Vehicles
What car has four-wheel drive and flies?
A garbage truck.
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Puns
How does Moses make his coffee so great?
Hebrews it.
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Puns
I broke my finger!
I broke my finger last week! On the other hand, I'm okay!
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Animals
What do my dog and my cellphone have in common?
They both have collar I.D.
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Family
How did the baby tell her mom that she had a wet diaper?
She sent her a pee-mail.
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