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Someone stole my mood ring!

I don't know how I feel about it!

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Animals

What dinosaur would win the track gold medal at the Olympics?

The Prontosaurus.

Puns

Why is money so stubborn?

It doesn't want to make change.

Sports

What position does lemonade play in baseball?

Pitcher.

Outdoors

Why couldn't the boxer make it in stand-up comedy?

He didn't have the right hook.

Animals

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

So-fish-ticated.

Puns

What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?

This one will sleigh you.

Puns

What did the painter say to the wall?

One more crack and I'll plaster you.

Animals

What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?

None. It just lets out a little wine.

Sports

What stories are told by basketball players?

Tall stories.

Animals

What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?

"Odor in the court!"

Animals

How much money does a skunk have?

One scent.

Vehicles

What car has four-wheel drive and flies?

A garbage truck.

Puns

How does Moses make his coffee so great?

Hebrews it.

finger broke?Puns

I broke my finger!

I broke my finger last week! On the other hand, I'm okay!

Animals

What do my dog and my cellphone have in common?

They both have collar I.D.

Family

How did the baby tell her mom that she had a wet diaper?

She sent her a pee-mail.