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She Needed Her Balance Checked!
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over!
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Animals
How does a squid go into battle?
Well-armed.
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People
Who is the worm's Prime Minister?
Maggot Thatcher.
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Animals
Where do baby apes sleep?
In apricots.
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Food & Drinks
Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
They're too cheesy.
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Puns
How do locomotives know where to go?
They have a lot of training.
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Entertainment
Why did the mirror cross the road?
To see itself!
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Animals
What animal loves to sway side-to-side?
A lean-mur.
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Vehicles
What do donkeys take to go to the store?
A horse and buggy.
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Puns
What did the clean dog say to the insect?
Long time, no flea.
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Animals
What kind of egg did the evil chicken lay?
A deviled egg.
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Political
Which bureau of the US government has the best breath?
The Mint.
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Puns
My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down!
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Animals
What's a snake's strongest subject in school?
Hiss-tory.
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Animals
What bird shouldn't drink coffee?
A buzz-ard.
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Outdoors
What's another term for a sleeping bag?
A nap sack.
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Puns
Do the mascara and lipstick ever argue?
Sure, but then they makeup.
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