Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

"No change yet."

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Puns

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?

Udder nonsense.

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Animals

What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones?

Hush puppies.

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Animals

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds.

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Animals

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, houses can't jump.

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Animals

What did the duck say as he was buying chapstick?

Just put it on my bill.

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a man dressed in 1970s fashion is dancing in front of a psychedelic orange background

Puns

Why were dancers in the '70s always sick?

They all had boogie fever!

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Food & Drinks

Why did the baby cookie cry?

Because its mother was a wafer so long.

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Puns

Why are boats so bad at asking for forgiveness?

They harbor resentment.

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Sports

When is a baseball player like a thief?

When he steals a base.

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Sports

What do soccer referees send during the holidays?

Yellow cards.

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Entertainment

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?

Ribbon hood.

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a beautiful backyard garden is in full bloom

Outdoors

Who is the most obnoxious person in a garden?

A gnome-it-all.

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Science

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?

You rocket.

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Education

Why is a computer so smart?

Because it listens to its motherboard.

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Puns

What's another name for your iPhone charger?

Apple juice.

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Puns

What do you find at the end of everything?

The letter G.

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Funny Editor

Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

"No change yet."

Looking for a specific joke?

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?

Udder nonsense.

What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones?

Hush puppies.

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, houses can't jump.

What did the duck say as he was buying chapstick?

Just put it on my bill.

Why were dancers in the '70s always sick?

They all had boogie fever!

Why did the baby cookie cry?

Because its mother was a wafer so long.

Why are boats so bad at asking for forgiveness?

They harbor resentment.

When is a baseball player like a thief?

When he steals a base.

What do soccer referees send during the holidays?

Yellow cards.

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?

Ribbon hood.

Who is the most obnoxious person in a garden?

A gnome-it-all.

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?

You rocket.

Why is a computer so smart?

Because it listens to its motherboard.

What's another name for your iPhone charger?

Apple juice.

What do you find at the end of everything?

The letter G.