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Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

"No change yet."

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Puns

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?

Udder nonsense.

Animals

What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones?

Hush puppies.

Animals

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds.

Animals

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, houses can't jump.

Animals

What did the duck say as he was buying chapstick?

Just put it on my bill.

a man dressed in 1970s fashion is dancing in front of a psychedelic orange backgroundPuns

Why were dancers in the '70s always sick?

They all had boogie fever!

Food & Drinks

Why did the baby cookie cry?

Because its mother was a wafer so long.

Puns

Why are boats so bad at asking for forgiveness?

They harbor resentment.

Sports

When is a baseball player like a thief?

When he steals a base.

Soccer referees?Sports

What do soccer referees send during the holidays?

Yellow cards.

Entertainment

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?

Ribbon hood.

a beautiful backyard garden is in full bloomOutdoors

Who is the most obnoxious person in a garden?

A gnome-it-all.

Astronaut's baby?Science

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?

You rocket.

computer smart?Education

Why is a computer so smart?

Because it listens to its motherboard.

Puns

What's another name for your iPhone charger?

Apple juice.

Puns

What do you find at the end of everything?

The letter G.