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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who?
There's nobel... that's why I knocked.
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Animals
Why should you not pamper a cow?
You'll get spoiled milk.
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Animals
Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?
They might be cheetahs.
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Puns
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
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Sports
Why do baseball players have such great retirement plans?
They want to make sure their bases are covered.
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Puns
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates neighbors?
A hermit crab.
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Professional
Why did the nurse always choose the red crayon?
Because she always has to draw blood.
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Travel
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They aren't allowed to travel.
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Family
What's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?
Daughter: "Mom, what's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?" Mom: "I don't know ask your grandmother."
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Puns
What do painters do when they make a mistake?
They go back to the drawing board.
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Sports
What do an English major and a football player have in common?
They get anxious over rough drafts.
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Outdoors
What's a bog's favorite sweet treat?
Marsh-mallows.
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People
Which celebrity is a cheese expert?
Ray Romano.
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Animals
What games do ants play with elephants?
Squash.
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Food & Drinks
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it.
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Food & Drinks
What did the pecan say to the walnut?
We're friends because we are both nuts!
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Professional
Why did the nurse always choose the red crayon?
Because she always has to draw blood.
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