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Knock knock. Who's there? Euripides. Euripides who?

Euripides things, you buy them!

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Professional

What kind of money do fishermen make?

Net profits.

Animals

What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

Rough Rough!

People

Who is the worm's Prime Minister?

Maggot Thatcher.

Animals

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, houses can't jump.

Animals

Which insect is the smartest?

The spelling bee.

Holiday

What did the ghost eat at his birthday party?

I scream.

Current Events

What do you get when two plants kiss?

Tulips!

Scrabble road?Entertainment

Board Game With A Twist

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"

Puns

How do you find where a flea has bitten you?

Start from scratch.

Puns

What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?

A pigtail.

Vehicles

What do you get when you put a car and a dog together?

A carpet.

Outdoors

Why did the lawn mower get kicked off the team?

He couldn't make the cut.

Outdoors

Why did the body of water think so much?

It liked to pond-er.

Puns

What reads and lives in an apple?

A bookworm.

Puns

What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?

This one will sleigh you.

Animals

Where do polar bears store their money?

In a snowbank.