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If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?

Plenty of milk.

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People

Why can't the lifeguards save the hippies?

Because they're too far out.

People

Which celebrity can be sedimentary, igneous, or metamorphic?

The Rock.

Animals

What do you call the donkey with 3 legs?

Wonky.

Animals

What medicine would you give an ill ant?

Antibiotics.

Food & Drinks

Why couldn't the pepper go to archery practice?

It didn't habanero.

Animals

What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow?

Slush puppies.

Puns

What happened to the city in France where the cheese factory exploded?

Da brie was flying everywhere.

Animals

Why do elephants have trunks?

Because they've no pockets to put things in.

a goalie dives to try to block a ball from making it into the netPuns

Which position in soccer always plans for the future?

A goal-ie.

Entertainment

Why did the piano get locked out of the opera?

It forgot to change keys.

Animals

What do you say if you meet a toad?

Wart's new?

a pretty sunrise over the ocean and beachOutdoors

What song does the horizon sing every morning?

Here comes the sun!

Sports

Why couldn't the skateboard pass math class?

It just couldn't get a handle on it.

Animals

Where do baby apes sleep?

In apricots.

Puns

How do you know if a joke is considered a dad joke?

It becomes apparent.

Animals

What did the duck say as he was buying chapstick?

Just put it on my bill.