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If there are eight sheep, three dogs, and one herdsman, how many feet are there?
Two. Sheep have hooves; dogs have paws; only the herdsman has feet.
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Family
Why are cause and effect so close?
They're related.
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Puns
Do the mascara and lipstick ever argue?
Sure, but then they makeup.
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Puns
When should you start writing a book?
When you have a novel idea.
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Animals
What kind of dog loves to eat?
A Chow.
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Outdoors
Why was the bud so shy?
It just hadn't blossomed yet.
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Travel
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
Turns out he just needs some space!
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Holiday
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
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Puns
Why does Satan just show up at so many parties?
Because people always speak of the devil.
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Animals
What do you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?
An animal that tells you everything that it remembers.
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Food & Drinks
Why did the woman get mad at her husband when she asked him to pick up six cans of Sprite?
He picked 7 up instead.
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Music
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
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Food & Drinks
What do you call a sad latte?
Depresso.
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Professional
What do you get a lawyer for his birthday?
Briefs.
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Animals
What's the biggest moth in the world?
A mammoth.
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Outdoors
Which tree can't stop crying?
A weeping willow.
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Puns
Why was the robot so sleepy after her road trip?
She had a hard drive.
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