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If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missiletoe.

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Puns

What do you give a sick pig?

Oinkment.

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Holiday

Why didn't the skeleton study cardiology?

His heart wasn't in it.

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a boxer hits a punching bagPuns

Why did the boxer take so many naps?

He was constantly hitting the sack.

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Animals

What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?

A beer-a-cuda.

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a close-up of a Burrowing owl with its head turned sideways at the cameraAnimals

What bird is losing its hair?

A bald eagle.

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Animals

What dog wears contact lenses?

A cock-eyed spaniel.

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Puns

What animals love to close envelopes?

Seals.

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two children wearing backpacks are writing equations on a chalkboardEducation

Why was the mean not looking forward to the end of the school year?

Because it had to go to sum-mer school.

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Family

Who are crows' favorite family members?

Caw-sins.

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Puns

What do you call someone who sees a robbery at an Apple Store?

The iWitness.

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Food & Drinks

What is the opposite of coffee?

Sneezy.

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Holiday

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?

So he can ho-ho-ho.

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two Basset hounds wearing sunglasses and ties sit together in front of a yellow backgroundAnimals

What animal dresses the most fashionably?

A hip-po.

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Puns

What do you call a belt made of clocks?

A waist of time.

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Animals

Why did the chicken cross the net?

It wanted to get to the other site.

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a lone pair of horns against a white backgroundFamily

Which family member has tusks?

An eleph-aunt.

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