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I broke my finger!

I broke my finger last week! On the other hand, I'm okay!

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Puns

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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two pink pigs stick their snouts through a fenceEntertainment

Where do pigs learn magic?

Hogwarts.

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Entertainment

What's the name of the winner of the chicken-eating contest?

The Lord of the Wings.

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crowded graveyard?Holiday

It's Crowded!

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.

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Puns

Why is money so stubborn?

It doesn't want to make change.

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Sports

What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?

Live stream.

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Animals

When should you stop for a glow worm?

When he has a red light.

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Vehicles

What's a horse's favorite car?

A Mustang.

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Puns

Why do vampires always look sick?

They keep coffin.

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Food & Drinks

Where can you have a Fry-day every day?

Grease!

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Puns

What reads and lives in an apple?

A bookworm.

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a person's hand holds a missing piece from a white puzzle, with the words "lies" and "true" writtenAnimals

Which big cat never tells the truth?

A lie-on.

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Puns

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope.

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Animals

What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall?

How slime flies.

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Puns

What do you call a pig thief?

A hamburglar.

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Puns

Who do green peas see when they aren't feeling well?

A pod-iatrist.

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