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I broke my finger!
I broke my finger last week! On the other hand, I'm okay!
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Puns
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
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Entertainment
Where do pigs learn magic?
Hogwarts.
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Entertainment
What's the name of the winner of the chicken-eating contest?
The Lord of the Wings.
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Holiday
It's Crowded!
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.
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Puns
Why is money so stubborn?
It doesn't want to make change.
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Sports
What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream.
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Animals
When should you stop for a glow worm?
When he has a red light.
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Vehicles
What's a horse's favorite car?
A Mustang.
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Puns
Why do vampires always look sick?
They keep coffin.
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Food & Drinks
Where can you have a Fry-day every day?
Grease!
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Puns
What reads and lives in an apple?
A bookworm.
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Animals
Which big cat never tells the truth?
A lie-on.
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Puns
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Phillipe Phillope.
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Animals
What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall?
How slime flies.
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Puns
What do you call a pig thief?
A hamburglar.
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Puns
Who do green peas see when they aren't feeling well?
A pod-iatrist.
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