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How much money does a skunk have?

One scent.

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a close-up of a Burrowing owl with its head turned sideways at the cameraAnimals

What bird is losing its hair?

A bald eagle.

an actor stands on a lit stage with a script in his outstretched hands with his head tilted backProfessional

Why did the actor jump into the orchestra pit?

Because the director told them to break a leg.


Why should you not pamper a cow?

You'll get spoiled milk.

a view of the earth from the moon's surfaceCurrent Events

Why do the Moon and the Earth get along best during the summer?

Because the Earth finally warms up to him.


What do you call a parrot making fun of you?

A mockingbird.

a man wearing priest robs and a large cross holds a book in front of a white backgroundPeople

Why does the priest love swiss cheese?

Because it's holy.

a Corgi dog is wrapped up in a blanketFamily

What did the puppy call his dad's best friend?

His godpawther.


Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?

Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

finger broke?Puns

I broke my finger!

I broke my finger last week! On the other hand, I'm okay!


Why are boats so bad at asking for forgiveness?

They harbor resentment.

Coached Bank?Sports

Why did the coach go to the bank?

To get his quarter back!!!

the U.S. Capitol Building Political

What Washington D.C. landmark is great at punctuation?

Capital Hill.

a person eating popcorn sits on their couch and pauses the show they're watching with a remote controlVehicles

What's a car's favorite TV show?

Law and Order SUV.


How can you make 7 even?

You take away the "s".


What did the lawyer name his daughter?



What's another name for your iPhone charger?

Apple juice.