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How is cat food sold?

Usually purr can.

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a view of a green mountain forest with many pine trees and a blue sky behindOutdoors

Why are trees always so positive?

Because they have a pe-can do attitude.

Current Events

What do you get when two plants kiss?

Tulips!

The Toothpaste?Music

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

Animals

What did the seal say when he saw his friend jump in the ocean?

I otter do that!

Animals

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

Sports

Why did the goal post get angry?

Because the bar was rattled!

Animals

What is the definition of Robin?

A bird who steals.

a kitten is leaning back in a sitting position with a surprised expressionPuns

What do cats use to take notes in meetings?

A scratch pad.

Puns

Why should you be worried about the calendar?

Its days are numbered.

Animals

Why could no one recognize the sheep?

He had a goatee.

Puns

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh!

Holiday

What is the best Christmas present ever?

A broken drum-you can't beat it.

Vehicles

Why did the car excuse himself from the dinner party?

He had too much gas.

Animals

What animal is best at avoiding a punch?

A duck.

Animals

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?

Because everyone had to go on in pairs.

Puns

Why do cows like being told jokes?

Because they like being amoosed.