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How does dinner smell?

Through its nose.

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Santa & soccer?Holiday

What did Santa bring the naughty soccer player?

COOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!

Sports

Why couldn't the skateboard pass math class?

It just couldn't get a handle on it.

Animals

What's a rabbit's favorite way to travel?

By hareplane.

Puns

Why shouldn't you buy anything with velcro?

They're a total rip-off.

Mood Ring?Puns

Someone stole my mood ring!

I don't know how I feel about it!

Puns

Which fly makes films?

Stephen Speilbug.

People

What do a tick and the Louvre have in common?

They are both Paris sites.

Holiday

Why didn't the skeleton study cardiology?

His heart wasn't in it.

Holiday

How is a sofa like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Because they're both full of stuffing.

Animals

How expensive is swimming with sharks?

It cost me an arm and a leg!

Puns

What kind of tree can you hold in one hand?

A palm tree.

Entertainment

What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream?

Chocolate chip cookie DOH!

Animals

How do you raise a baby elephant?

With a forklift truck.

Animals

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

Because he was a "chicken".

People

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missiletoe.

Animals

What do you call a 100-year-old frog?

An old croak.