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How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side.
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People
Which celebrity shines the brightest?
Emma Watt-son.
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Animals
Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up.
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Puns
What is a plane full of male cows called?
A bull flight.
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Puns
Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales.
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Puns
What did the clean dog say to the insect?
Long time, no flea.
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Puns
What happened to the city in France where the cheese factory exploded?
Da brie was flying everywhere.
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Puns
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
It was outstanding in its field.
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Professional
What happens when a realtor commits a crime?
They're put on house arrest.
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Holiday
What did the bird's mom say when he talked just like his dad?
You're a chirp off the old block!
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Puns
Did you hear about the country giving free bread to its citizens?
It was a generous dough-nation.
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Current Events
You have to be very careful in an ice storm.
It's sNOw joke.
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Holiday
Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
Because it has long-distance runners on each side.
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Puns
What is a duck's favorite dance?
The quackstep.
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Animals
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
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Sports
What did they call Dracula when he won the league?
The champire.
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Entertainment
What's E.T. short for?
Because he has tiny legs.
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