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How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together.

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Animals

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?

A petticoat.

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Animals

Why did the chick disappoint his mother?

He wasn't what he was cracked up to be.

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Food & Drinks

Why was the chip acting so goofy?

He was a cheese-ball.

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Professional

My boss instructed me to set up the company's 401k.

I told her I don't think anyone on the team can run that far.

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Puns

What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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Animals

How much does it cost to swim with the sharks?

An arm and a leg.

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Puns

What did the eggs say to the toast after a long day?

We're fried.

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Puns

Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak.

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Animals

What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog, because it croaks every night.

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Music

What do you call a dog that's blasting out music at the bottom of the ocean?

A subwoofer.

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Food & Drinks

What did the French chef say when he made a mistake?

Oh crepe!

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Holiday

Where do ghosts prefer to swim?

Lake Eerie.

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Food & Drinks

How does a cucumber turn into a pickle?

It goes through a jarring experience.

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Puns

How do you know if a joke is considered a dad joke?

It becomes apparent.

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a woman is signing an autograph while photographers are taking her picturePeople

Who is the nicest celebrity around?

Tom Thanks.

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Puns

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?

Reptiles.

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